The Martian opinion

In article <ef2t2u4sdvhlb0su1vr6u4c61v6f5sgfhg@4ax.com>,
Bob Bain  <bobb@nospam.alt.net> wrote:
> Mathematics is a human language which attempts to deal with
>classification, but fails to take into account that classifcation is a
>humaan weakness - and a dismal failure.

An angry murmur rose from the assembly.  The Speaker raised a tentacle in
warning, and the noise died down.  The Member continued his speech:

> It's good for doing sums with money.  It's hopeless for dealing with
>philosphical concepts with regard to creation and the universe in
>general.

Three insectoid Members launched themselves into the air, rising on a
point of privilege, but the buzz of their wings was lost in the
encompassing silence of the Member from Voldrett's telepathic unspeech.

"Order.  We recognize the Member from Voldrett."

<------->
<------->

"The Member raises an interesting point - indeed, if we are to consider
mathematics as an inadequate model for the real world, then words
themselves must be similarly inadquate, so it becomes a farcical exercise
to even talk about such things with words.  Perhaps that can indeed be
seen as a reason to ban the use of words.  However, it is a
well-established rule of procedure that it is out of order for the
Assembly to limit its own power.  If we were to rule mathematics, and
therefore words, unacceptable means of communication, then all Members
would have to withdraw from this Assembly except the Member from Voldrett
and one or two other representatives of unspeaking races.  That would
obviously be a drastic change in procedure for this Assembly, and a
remarkable re-allocation of power, and it is more than I will countenance
on an undebatable point of order."

<------->
<------->

"If the Member desires a debate on this point, she may submit a
motion during the time allocated for new business.  For now, we proceed - "

An ultrasonic pulse echoed through the chamber.  Two crystals from the
great chandelier detached and smashed on the floor in front of the
dais; snakelike repair bots deployed from the ceiling to fit new ones
in place.

"The Honourable Finance Minister."

personal_privilege_point-of_rising_are_we
personal_insult_statement-of_the_Bob_Bain_unit_to-us_is_being
Hyumons_monopoly-on_mathematics_are-having-not
 !INDEED!
theorems_proving-of_46_papers_published_was-I_with-having_personally \
    _ancestors_Hyumon_Member_which_end_of_spiked_club \
    _to-of-hitting-giant-lizard-with-still-dumbly-wondering!
 !AND!
    -

"Order.  Let me remind the Member that we must refer to one another by
portfolio, never by name; and furthermore, that we must maintain a
civil attitude at all times and address the Speaker."

apologies_with-making_are_we
 !TO CONTINUE!
mathematics_money_useful_is-being_sufficiently_of-value_is-not?
money_sums_only-use-of_mathematics_if (. and that is not the case .)
still_extremely-worthwhile_mathematics_would-be
money_sums_Galaxy_go_around_are-what-is-of-making
 !THAT IS ALL!

The Minister of Finance folded up into its tube amid scattered applause,
as the Member from Mars rose, flipping his oiled hair back over his
shoulder, and favoured the assembly with a grin that displayed every one
of his fifty-six teeth.  For once the assembly quieted down to actually
listen to his speech.  Normally, he'd have been greeted with boos and
thrown drinking glasses, but right now everyone wanted to hear the Martian
opinion on the Human's rash claims.

< Mr. Speaker, I see that you have a long list of Members who wish to
< speak in complaint of the Member's remarks about the value of
< mathematics.  I wouldn't presume to speak for my fellow Members, of
< course, but if we must hear everyone speak on this matter -

An hon. Member: <------->

< I'm sorry, yes, if we must *give everyone a chance to communicate in
< whatever manner is most appropriate to his, her, its, or their own
< species*, then we shall be here so long that we'll have to find another
< star to light the proceedings, because that one there only has what on
< my planet we would call "a few billion years" left!  I'm sure we all
< want to avoid inadvertently fillibustering ourselves with what we almost
< all can agree is a trivial proceeding.  Therefore, I should like to
< propose a fast, easy solution.  I know some of my opponents will see
< this as a grab on my part for profitable salvage rights, Mr. Speaker, but
< I truly believe it will serve all our interests in the long run.  I
< would like to make this a procedural motion for unanimous assent, Mr.
< Speaker - I believe that section 4302(23)a#a(4) of our rules of
< procedure, with which you are surely familiar, supports this
< usage.  My motion, then, is simply that to eliminate any possible
< dispute on what the Humans did or did not invent, and what strengths
< and weaknesses of character are or are not uniquely Human, the Humans
< should be all put to death as soon as reasonably practicable, and
< their planet razed to the mantle and left for salvage in accordance
< with Title 7 of the Vega Convention; and furthermore, that everyone
< remaining to speak on this motion agree to waive their positions on
< the list, as the assembly considers the entire matter closed.  I
< believe that although not all of my colleagues will necessarily
< consider this a perfect solution, we can nonetheless unanimously consent
< to it in the name of expediency and of not dragging this meeting out
< all aeon.  That is all.

"Very well, do we have unanimous consent for the proposed procedure?"

Some hon. Members:  Agreed
Some hon. Members:  <------->
An hon. Member:     !AYE!

"We have assent."

/Motion assented to and directed to Executive Branch/

> Mr. Speaker, hey, wait a minute, that slime creature thing engulfed me
> at the critical moment to keep me from voting against!  Point of
> personal privilege, Mr. Speaker!

"We need not recognize Mr. Bain, as under the terms of the motion duly
assented to, he is no longer a Member of this assembly."

To punctuate this last point, the Speaker extended a tentacle and
offhandedly whacked the slime-covered human out of his seat and onto the
floor of the Assembly Chamber.  Several Members representing carnivorous
species raced to divide him up.  They returned to their seats munching
contentedly, as the Speaker shuffled some papers on the desk and began the
next item of business.

"We thank the Member from Mars for contributing a neat solution to the 
procedural question.  Now, let us consider Bill h@WWQ-44628.."
-- 
Matthew Skala
mskala@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca                    Embrace and defend.
http://ansuz.sooke.bc.ca/