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Date: Mon, 21 Jul 97 19:33:57 PDT
LCHYN@JUNO.COM writes:
> Hi, I'm kind of new to this disscusion group thing. What do you do? Do
> you just talk about something and then people wirte a response? Well
No, it's a little more complicated than that. Here's how it works
[except on Wednesdays].
You just talk about something. Let's say, for instance, that you talk
about how embarassed you were when your cat killed something that looked
like a newt except it was pale pink and then your dog ate it (the newt,
not the cat) and got sick, and puked on the Mormon canvassers who came
to your door.
People wirte a response. Several response, in fact. To summarise:
Someone from rec.pets.cats wirtes a lengthy reply explaining how you
can train your cat not to do this. She tells a marginally credible
story about how HER cat not only doesn't bring the things it kills
indoors, but she's got it trained to classify killed things into
several neat piles under the back porch stairs: "Vertebrates",
"Invertebrates", "Vegetables", and "Other". This somehow gets
crossed with the ongoing "American Cars" flamewar, and eventually
turns into a highly detailed technical discussion with people quoting
chapter and verse from the RFCs and the Book of Mormon to settle
which pile the Longest Thread Ever belongs in and whether a cat's
eyesight is good enough to read news in the first place.
A delegation from sci.aquaria icily wirtes that it's against natural
law to allow a cat to play with a live newt and the ASPCA has been
informed of your whereabouts.
The oldbies wirte a lot of jokes about newts and anvils. You will not
get these jokes. Don't worry. The oldbies don't know what they're
talking about either. It's all just a plot to make you feel
unwelcome and you should ignore it because deep down underneath their
Crusty Exterior the oldbies all have Hearts of Gold [except on
Wednesdays] and really just want to be Your Fiends.
Somewhere out there, probably in Llorona County, California, your
True Soulmate wirtes that he understands your problems perfectly and
may I say that you have beautiful eyes. You'd be ever so happy with
him if you ever connected; much happier than you are with your
current partner, if you have one. This article will be cancelled
before it gets to you, by a rogue spambot.
Chevyn wirtes that his penis is bigger than your dog.
That's a little complicated to remember, so here's a little mnemonic
jingle you can print out and carry in your wallet in case of
emergencies:
You put your article in
They propagate it out
You put your article in
And they flame it all about
You do the teebeefleebie
As your body is torn to shreds from within by bird-headed creatures born
of your own fears and uncertainties self-amplifying through chaotic
interaction with disturbances in the Ganzfeld [except on Wednesdays]
That's what it's all about!
Hope that helps.
--
Matthew_Skala@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca, hacking Delphi for MPR in Burnaby
* RM 1.3 00829 * [Because Wednesday's your turn in the barrel!]
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