In which a Demonstration Begins Well, and Concludes
Aardvark: Good morning, Friend Bandicoot. I trust you slept well?
Bandicoot: Very well, thank you, Friend Aardvark. It was most restful knowing I'd completed the project and wouldn't have to do any more work on it. Do you have new glasses today?
A: Yes, these are my demonstration spectacles.
B: Very appropriate to the occasion!
A: Thank you. Shall we begin the demo?
B: Yes, I believe Friend Computer is ready. Friend Computer, are you ready?
B: Friend Computer, "7*3".
A: It multiplies!
B: Friend Computer, "32/2"
A: It divides!
B: Friend Computer, "17-9"
A: Verily, it subtracts!
A: Of course it can add, as well?
B: Oh, you'll like this one - Friend Computer, "diff(x^3,x)"
A: Wow! I guess you had time to put in some extras after all.
B: Oh, differentiation is easy. Just a good thing you didn't ask for integration.
A: Yes, I'm sure our customers don't need integration. By the way, can it add?
A: You know. Sums.
B: Oh, yes! Friend Computer, "5+7"
A: That seems to be in order.
B: Can I go now?
A: Let me just run the test suite.
B: Now, we did agree that the optional features didn't need to be implemented.
A: Funny thing about that. I re-read the spec after our other conversation and it seems there aren't any optional features after all, so you needn't worry.
B: The important thing about an optional feature is it's not necessary.
A: The spec is really very simple. It just has to add, and do the other basic operations on floating-point numbers. Like one of those cheap calculators.
B: After all, if something optional were necessary, it wouldn't be called optional.
A: Friend Computer?
B: I think this was a good night's work.
A: Friend Computer, "make check"
C: Test 1, failed.
C: Test 2, failed. Test 3, failed.
B: I think for my next assignment I'm going to ask to be put on the security and compliance team. I like security.
C: Test 4, failed. Test 5, failed.
A: Is the test harness just malfunctioning and inverting all the results? I saw that happen the other day.
C: Test 6, passed. Test 7, failed. Test 8...10%
A: Friend Bandicoot, what's going on?
A: Friend Bandicoot?
B: Oh, this one takes a while to run.
A: That's not what I meant.
B: Well, what?
A: Why are all the tests failing?
B: They're not all failing. Test 6 passed.
A: Why are ANY of the tests failing?
B: We did agree that the optional features were optional, Friend Aardvark.
A: There weren't any optional features!
B: Please don't yell. You're frightening Friend Computer.
A: Well, I don't understand how you can tell me you've finished the module and it's ready to demo, and you spend however long implementing symbolic differentiation, when it can't even come close to passing the test suite on basic arithmetic.
B: I told you I was having trouble with the optional features. The optional double-double feature in particular was really difficult. Good thing it was optional! We did agree the optional features were optional.
A: I don't know what you mean by "the optional double-double feature." There were no optional features and there were no features involving coffee at all.
C: 100%. Test 8, p...
B: That was the one I couldn't implement.
A: What's Friend Computer doing?
B: Wait for it.
A: Well, at least the long test passed. That's a relief.
C: pas de succès.
B: I said, wait for it.
A: "Pas de succès?" Seriously, Friend Bandicoot?
B: Well, I didn't write that message. Do I look like the localization team?
A: I'm not sure that's even correct French.
B: Again, I wouldn't know.
A: Okay. That's not my main concern right now. Look, I have a migrane. I'm going home. But tomorrow we will talk about all this.
B: Certainly, Friend Aardvark! I hope you will get well soon.
C: KERNEL OOPS AT 0x05318008